Taking Bigger Steps

Every time you take a step out of your comfort zone you are building your confidence. Be courageous. Take bigger steps!

Stepping Out of Your Comfort Zone

Taking Steps Outside Your Comfort Zone

Tips on Boosting Self-Confidence for Teens and Others

Whether you’re a male or female teen, your self-confidence is important. While the emphasis is often on girls’ self-esteem, boys need to be confident, too, and often struggle just as much (although perhaps in different areas). Here are some tips to help teens build their self-confidence.

Recognize Your Talents

It’s easy to blow off your abilities, especially if your peers make fun of them (and they probably do so out of jealousy). But get serious with yourself and make a list of things you love to do and are good at. Keep this list just for yourself and look at it often. Remember it when you flunk a test or say something you wish you hadn’t. Those talents of yours won’t go away, and you can rely on them for the rest of your life…as long as you cultivate them.

Cultivate Your Abilities

You may have so many interests and abilities that it’s impossible to develop them all; or, you may have one thing you really love to do. Regardless, look into developing and using some of your abilities in applications beyond school. Not only will it open more opportunities to look for activities around your community, but it might also remove you from peer judgment.

Be Like a Duck

Have you ever heard the expression that you should be like a duck and let negative words and attitudes roll off your back? It’s a good thing to cultivate – if you take every criticism or off-hand comment to heart, you might find yourself paralyzed with fear of other’s judgment. Remember, school and teenage-hood are not forever. You will get out of this stage and you shouldn’t let the criticisms of others sabotage your future, which lasts a lot longer than middle and high school!

Resist the Urge to Compare

When you look at your friends, classmates, or pictures of celebrities, try to resist the temptation to scrutinize them as the gold standard to which you should aspire. Someone will always have better legs, superior athletic prowess, nicer hair, etc. than you. But those people don’t set the standard for you; you are who you are, and they can’t measure up to that, either!

Listen to the Inner Voice – Then Tell It to Shut Up

Stop and listen to your inner thoughts for a while. What do you automatically think of yourself in response to certain situations? What do you say to yourself when you wake up, interact with friends, or go to class? If you are tearing yourself down with negative thoughts, you need to stop. Address the negative self-talk and replace it with positive self-talk instead.

To Building Your Confidence

Fran Watson

Bulding Confidence www.franwatson.ca

Develop Your Confidence

 

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Positive Self Talk

Have you ever paid attention to the number of times you say something negative to yourself during the day. Make a point of stopping when you hear something negative and tell yourself something positive. Instead of saying “That was a stupid thing to do.” say “Next time I will do that differently.” Give yourself a chance. Be kind to yourself.

Positive Self Talk

Use Positive Self Talk

Tips to Help Overcome Shyness and Social Awkwardness

Feeling shy or awkward in certain situations is understandable. Don’t we all have a little nervousness before we go talk to that guy or girl, or get sweaty palms before giving a speech? For some, though, shyness and social awkwardness may not be circumstantial, but constant. This can be very frustrating and hard to overcome, but there are some things you can do to help overcome your shyness and approach people in social situations. Here are some tips.

Learn to Laugh

There’s something about laughter that makes everyone feel more comfortable. This is why “ice breaker” activities at parties are often designed to get the participants laughing. So don’t be afraid to laugh at someone’s jokes, or learn a few funny lines yourself (not canned “pick-up” lines, but clever observations or comments).

Force Yourself to Stay

Sometimes, shy people feel so uncomfortable in a social situation that they just want it to end; they just want to get away. Consciously resist this impulse. Tell yourself to stand your ground, stay put, and interact. Remember, the other person is not going to breathe fire; he or she just wants to have a conversation and get to know you.

Learn to be Comfortable with Silence

Social situations can feel especially awkward if you are uncomfortable with mutual silence. This may trigger shy people to “babble” to fill the silence, which then makes them feel even more awkward because they feel like what they’re saying is silly or nonsensical. So be cool – some silence between people is okay. In fact, it helps give the other person a chance to think before he or she speaks. The person you’re speaking with will appreciate this!

Stretch

Just like physical stretching, socially and psychologically stretching can be somewhat uncomfortable, even painful. But also like physical stretching, it’s necessary. If your first instinct is to say “No” when someone asks you to do something, stop and think first. Tell the person you will get back to him or her if you aren’t sure. This will give you some time to pluck up your courage and say “Yes.”

To your Confidence

Fran Watson

Bulding Confidence www.franwatson.ca

Develop Your Confidence

 

 

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Face Your Fear With Confidence

Face your fear. Step out with faith in yourself that you will be able to accomplish your goals. You can do it!

Defeat fear by taking action

Acting without fear

Mindsets that Lead to Low Self-Confidence and How to Change Them

If you suffer from low self-confidence, you might be stuck in some negative mindsets that are affecting the way you think about yourself and, ultimately, your self-esteem. Negative mindsets tend to have a lot of “always” or “never” talk, creating a sense of entrapment and hopelessness. Here are some examples of negative mindsets that can lead to low confidence.

“I will never get it right.”

Thinking this way can keep you from trying again, or even trying something for the first time. It makes it only too easy to give up.

“Nobody understands what this is like.”

When you lack self-confidence, a lot of times you assume that everyone else has it together and you’re the odd man or woman out. You may feel isolated, and feel as if others have their lives together while you are still floundering.

“I am totally useless.”

When you lack confidence, you may feel like you don’t have anything of value to contribute, whether it’s to your workplace, relationships, or something else.

“I am a complete failure.”

No one fails at every single thing; but to a person with low self-confidence, it can sure seem that way. You may feel like everything you’ve ever tried has failed, even if this is not true.

“I could never do that.”

Do you see someone with a successful lifestyle you wish you had? If you lack self-confidence, you may have the above reaction. Instead of being inspired and wanting to create that lifestyle for yourself, you look at that person and get depressed, thinking you could never have what they have.

How Can These Mindsets Be Overcome?

In order to overcome these destructive mindsets that lead to low confidence, it’s necessary to reprogram your thought processes. You will need to pay attention to your negative self-talk and immediately change it to something positive.

For example, instead of “I will never get it right,” you could stop that thought in its tracks and think instead, “I have trouble with this, but if I keep trying and seek out the right help, I know I can succeed.” Rather than, “I could never do that,” think, “I would love to do that! There’s no reason why I can’t have that lifestyle if I work at it.”

You may need therapy and/or counseling to overcome these mindsets. But like everything else in life, you can do it if you set realistic goals and have confidence in yourself!

Stay Confident

Fran Watson

Bulding Confidence www.franwatson.ca

Develop Your Confidence

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Have You Been Rejected?

If you have ever lost a job like I have, watch this:

https://www.facebook.com/JayShettyIW/videos/501266317036712/

If you have been told that you were “not the right fit”, perhaps you too will go out and find your niche, whether it be starting your own company, working from home, or working for a company that fits your values.

To your success

Fran Watson

Bulding Confidence www.franwatson.ca

Develop Your Confidence

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Acting Confident

ACTING CONFIDENT

You may be surprised how others see you. If you were to ask them they might say “you are so confident. I wish I could be as confident as you.” They have no idea you are shaking in your boots.

Believe in Yourself Act Confident

Looking Confident is not the same as Feeling Confident

Steps to Confidence

Building confidence is a necessary exercise for many of us. If self-confidence does not come naturally, building it up takes deliberate, conscious effort. While no step-by-step program is perfect, following are some steps that may help you build up your sense of confidence.

Goals

Write them down. Make a list of your goals, long and short term, and then below each goal write the steps it will take to get there. For example, if one of your goals is to launch a website to earn money, your list might look like this:

Launch Website
a. Reserve domain
b. Set up hosting
c. Contact web designer and discuss layout
d. Write a short ebook as a promotional giveaway
e. Write content and newsletters for site to cover several months after launch

Whether it’s relationships, business ventures, or self-improvement, writing your goals and their necessary steps can make those goals much less formidable and much more doable. That alone helps you feel more confident in moving forward.

Stop Comparing

While it’s good to have aspirations toward self-improvement, constantly comparing yourself to the best of the best in your realm can get discouraging. For example, if you’d like to have a talk radio show or Podcast, you might be inspired by high-profile radio hosts; being inspired by them is fine, but beating yourself up because you are not exactly like they are – complete with millions of listeners – will only discourage you.

Build a Positive Self-Image

It seems that when you are just certain you are going to fail before you try something, you are more likely to fail when you do try it. If you have a negative self-image and think you just can’t achieve anything, it’s likely that you won’t – thus underscoring this false impression about yourself. Stop listening to the negative inner voice and instead tell yourself that you can achieve your goals and, even if you fail, it’s not because you are a bad person or because you didn’t try.

Get to Know Yourself

This means spending some quiet time thinking or writing in a journal – some quiet time by yourself in which you assess your strengths, weaknesses, and personality. What are your character traits? What quirks and talents do you have? Pretend like you are being interviewed and that the interviewer is trying to get to know you. What questions would they ask?

Turn off the Media

For a while, it might be good to turn off the TV and put down the magazines. The perfect-people images found in the media can be discouraging for those who are struggling with self-confidence.

To building Your Confidence

Fran Watson

Bulding Confidence www.franwatson.ca

Develop Your Confidence

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Learn to Love Yourself

Learn to love yourself. You don’t need others to love you. Self-respect starts from the inside. Self-respect enables you to develop confidence.  Take a closer look at all the wonderful aspects of your personality and be good to you!

Building Confidence through Personal Growth

Learn To Love Yourself – You Are Worth It

I talk to a lot of professionals and sales people and even entrepreneurs, people starting their own businesses, and they want to learn “how can I develop more confidence or even just get myself a bit of confidence so that I can be more successful in what I do.”

You have to realize where confidence comes from and what confidence means.

Confidence is your ability to take action and feel good about yourself.  Feel like whatever it is you’re about to endeavor into, that you can do a good job and that you can come out of the other end of it looking good.

Now, this doesn’t happen by accident.  When you look at the way confidence appears in our lives, it appears as a result of doing things over and over again and developing a proficiency from it.

Confidence, in and of itself, is not something that you’re born with or not born with.  It’s something that’s developed over time through practice and through repetition.

When you first learn how to walk, when you were let’s say 12 months old or 13 months old or whatever it may be for you, you were not very confident at walking.  In fact, you couldn’t walk.  But you were determined to try.

You stood on the side of the sofa and you pushed yourself off and you would fall.  You would try it again and you would fall, and you would do it over and over again.

Your level of confidence in the beginning was tiny.  In fact, there probably was no confidence.  But you were so determined to do it, that you kept going. 

Eventually you took a step, you followed that with another step, and soon enough you were walking and now you’re an adult and you can walk from one side to the other of a room or a hallway or whatever, and not even think about the act of walking.

It’s just something that comes to you naturally.  If someone were to ask you your level of confidence on a scale of 0 to 10, how confident you are that you could walk across the room, you’d probably say 11.  It doesn’t even occur to you.  You just do it.

The same thing goes for confidence in all areas of life, including your professional life.

Understand this process.  Nobody is born with natural confidence at any level of their life.  If you see somebody who’s confident right now, it’s because they’ve developed that confidence by repetitive learning and trying and failing and getting the feedback and doing it again.  Having the courage to continue.

Do you have the courage to continue?  I think you do.  Continue with what you’re doing right now, develop that confidence and you’ll only continue to grow.

Fran Watson

Bulding Confidence www.franwatson.ca

Develop Your Confidence

 

 

 

 

 

P.S.  Post a note below if you are interested in an Affirmations journal and I will send it to you.

 

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Step Outside Your Comfort Zone

Comfort Zones

Do something that is outside your comfort zone. Once you achieve one new thing it is easier to do another. Challenge yourself – attend a class to make something or learn something you are interested in. Don’t worry if no one else goes with you. Do it for yourself.

Developing Confidence

Step Out Of Your Comfort Zone

 

Emily Chadbourne has this to say about stepping outside your comfort zone:   https://youtu.be/03MlJtSQz7g

I confess that I have not yet stepped outside my comfort zone to do videos, but I am almost ready to do so now that I have watched Emily’s video.

Fran Watson

P.S.  You can find out more about Emily here:  https://www.facebook.com/groups/TCTCLife/

 

 

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Confidence

Confidence – something that many of us wish we had.  There are many myths about confidence and you will find out more about them in this youtube video by one of my favourite people Emily Chadbourne.  I just finished watching it and wanted to share it right away.

I will tell you right off that she uses a particular 4 letter word frequently, so if this turns you off, don’t watch, but if you want some really fantastic advice and information on the subject of Confidence and how to get it, then watch this video.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XZNcnTmAQgA&feature=youtu.be

Get your confidence here… or at least learn more about how to get it

You will always find great information from Emily and she gives a number of free workshops through her Facebook group – https://www.facebook.com/thatcrazythingcalledlife/

Hope you enjoy this and stay tuned for more confidence building tips over the next few weeks.

Fran Watson

Bulding Confidence www.franwatson.ca

Develop Your Confidence

 

 

 

 

 

P.S.  Remember you always have a choice

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Be Who You Are

“Robin’s Top 10 Tips To Be Who You Are”
By Robin Rice

The best thing about being who you really are is that you simply cannot fail. You do it successfully 24 hours a day. Yet the essence of who you are is often covered by all the defenses, insecurities, and adaptations that have accumulated over the years. It is like wearing five pairs of pants, six shirts and two hats. Sure, you are being who you really are, because you’ve chosen to add those extra layers. But can anyone really see the True You? Can you see her clearly? The following tips will help you begin the process of peeling off the layers. Each one invites an action that will help you unveil the True You.

#1 Get To Know The True You
Think of the “True You” as an advisor to the “you” that you act out day to day. Stand in front of a mirror, call her forth and start talking. Ask questions. Listen. Let your eyes lose focus and see what images appear. See how it feels to stand so close to the True You. Cry if you’ve missed her. Get angry if you feel she’s abandoned you. Touch your fingers to the mirror and thank her for coming. Ask her to help you begin to live a life that is more authentic. Find out what she suggests you do next.

#2 Make A Space To Call Your Own
Create a space that is dedicated to the True You. A whole room would be ideal, but even a top shelf of a closet will do. This powerful statement says, “I’m worth the space I take up.” Decorate it with passion. Perhaps you will make an altar to the True You, put your favorite books in creative stacks, or spread out beloved life souvenirs. Visit often, and when you do, plant seeds of hope by writing down wishes on tiny pieces of paper. This is the garden in which you are growing your own greatness.

#3 Learn What You Really Want
There is only one way to learn what you love, like, and really want. Start experimenting now. What really lights your fire? What simply passes the hours in ho-hum? Like Julia Roberts in the movie Runaway Bride, we must try our eggs in every style imaginable, and not simply follow the preferences of our companions. After you’ve sampled what is obvious, dare to keep searching by ordering off the menu even though it is costly and plenty of good eggs will go to waste. Every great painter wastes paint and every queen once wasted time as a princess kissing frogs. Only those who have never experienced “great” will find your experimenting foolish.

#4 Dare To Be Average
They say the strongest enemy of Great is Good, and that is true. But demanding that you be great at everything is a sure fire recipe for enjoying nothing. To get off the “gotta be top rate at everything right now” steamroller, make a list of everything you think it’s really okay to be average at. Mowing the lawn. Decorating for parties. Keeping the car clean. Understanding opera. Buying wine. When you’ve done an average job with something on this list, say “good enough” and let it be. Hear the True You breathe a sigh of relief.

#5 Picture Yourself Becoming The True You
Take out your favorite magazines to make a collage. Cut out any words or images that express the “you” as you are right now and paste them on the left. Then, moving to the right, depict the True You that you see yourself becoming. Be sure to include your hopes and dreams. Look at your creation often and feel yourself smile.

#6 Come To Your Senses
Wake up to the simple pleasures. Go into a completely dark, quiet space (this may require everyone else be asleep) and peel a sweet orange. With your sight and hearing purposefully impaired, you will have automatically heightened your sense of smell, touch and taste. Feel the dimpled texture of the skin, sniff the pure fragrance, and enjoy the stunning explosion on your taste buds. Remind yourself that life is good.

#7 Watch Your Language
Listen to how often you use the words “should” and “ought.” Each time you catch yourself using one of these words, ask yourself “Says who?” and question why they get to make up the rules. Are they wiser than your True Self? If you can’t replace “should” and “ought” with “want,” reexamine the issues at hand.

#8 Be Moody
You heard me right. Stop stuffing those bad moods in the vain attempt to be nice and easy to be around all the time. Be sure to let those who might be adversely affected know that it’s you, not them, at the root of the mood, then let them come on. Dance with them. Ask them what they are trying to say. “Off” moods come from the True You, too, and they are saying something about a part of you that needs attention. Every light has it’s dark, every up has it’s down. Let’s all give each other a little more room for the down and dark so that wholeness has a chance to enter.

#9 Invest In What You Believe In
Give your time, energy, money, vote, and encouragement to anything that reflects a message you want the world to hear. You don’t have to be the one with the voice, so long as you are supportive of those who speak your truth. Just as it takes a village to raise a child, it takes a thunderous chorus of authenticity-bearers to make a new message heard.

#10 Forgive Yourself
If you are human, you are precious and imperfect. Now is the time to accept that and forgive yourself for all the ways you believe you have failed. Take a ceremonial forgiveness shower. Using a favorite soap, wash yourself in your own compassion, imagining the deadness of unresolved pain and guilt going down the drain. Thank the pain and guilt for serving its purpose, which was to let you know your own true values. Step forth whole, authentic, and free to make new choices with the True You as your guide.

NOTE: This article first appeared in Natural Beauty and Health Magazine.

This article is free to use under the following conditions:
Please contact the author to let her know when and where the article will appear. Also, be sure all articles have both the “previously published by…” credit listed at the end (if there is one), and a byline that includes the following: “Robin Rice is an author and contemporary shaman. Visit her at www.BeWhoYouAre.com, or write her at WriteRobin@BeWhoYouAre.com.

 

Thanks Robin for this great article.

Fran Watson

Setting Goals www.franwatson.ca

Be Your Best You

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Living A Full Life

live life fully

Live Life Fully

Look Inward To Live Life To The Fullest

What do you do on a daily basis with living a full life in mind? If you’re struggling to think of anything, that’s okay, you’re not alone. Here’s the thing – you aren’t going to enjoy every minute of every day, bad things will happen – whether it’s a car accident, a fall, illness, financial struggles or the loss of a loved one.

But that is just a part of life and these things don’t stop you from living your life to the fullest, and there is also no need for a monumental achievement daily to tick that box.

The Big Three Questions

 If you’re trying to determine what it is that you really want from your life and what will help you live a full life, then ask yourself these questions and rely on your intuition to understand what you’re trying to tell yourself.

 1. What Does Your Heart Want Right Now?

Right now, at this very moment – what do you want? Empty your feelings onto a sheet of paper and review it later. It might not make a whole lot of sense initially, it’s essentially free writing to direct you. It isn’t about doing something because your brain is telling you to, it’s about relying on your intuition to lead you.

 2. What Are You Feeling Right Now?

Follow your intuition and sense where you are being led, no matter where it may be guiding you. Emotions aren’t always wise, but your intuition is, so listen to your gut. This will help you filter out some of what you have written as you’ve let yourself flow onto the paper. It’s part of the process required to make sense of what you’ve put down on paper.

 3. What If It’s Different Than I Imagined?

Nothing is ever as you expect it to be. If you are truly following your purpose it won’t matter whether it unfolds as you imagined, there’s a good chance that it will be even better. It’s important to remember, though, that even when chasing your dreams there will be bumps along the way. Life can never be perfect, but there is something about life’s imperfections that make it worth living.

What Limits You

 We all feel held back by assumptions and expectations at various points in our lives. We are comfortable in the box that we have created for ourselves, at least, that’s what we tell ourselves. In truth, we’ve allowed ourselves to become trapped in a box with a trap lid. What assumptions could be limiting you from making progress in life?

  • I can’t earn less than X to live a happy life
  • I’m too old for this
  • I’m not good enough
  • My marriage won’t survive this change
  • I don’t have what it takes
  • I don’t have the necessary skills
  • I don’t have anything to offer
  • I’m too tired
  • My life won’t be better than this
  • There’s nothing special about me

Getting Started

 If you’re considering something career related, why not volunteer in a place related to that purpose? It’s a great way to see if it really is what you want and get a better feel for things. Alternatively, you could shadow someone who is in the career you want for yourself and see what happens.

If your purpose isn’t career-related, it should be much easier to launch yourself headfirst into it. When you are lying on your deathbed, those limits won’t mean much.

The key to living a full life is finding out what really matters to you, determining what you want, and going after it full force.

To living your best life

Fran Watson

Setting Goals www.franwatson.ca

Live Your Best Life

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