Negative Self Talk
Do you focus more on what you do well or on what you don’t do well? Your negative self-talk impacts your feelings and actions.
The most common poison people take on a regular basis is negativity. It can control you in ways that you may not even be aware of. Eliminating it can make a major difference in your outlook and mindset. Researchers estimate that we think about 50,000 to 70,000 thoughts a day – and that about 80% of those thoughts are negative. That is a crazy amount of negative self-talk!
If you are like most people you will find that you say negative things to yourself more often than positive things. We all have that little voice in our head that tells us we’re not good enough or that there’s no way we can do what we set out to get done.
To gain more confidence in yourself, you have to stop talking negatively in your head. You probably use negative self talk a lot more than you realize and it is KILLING YOUR CONFIDENCE.
“Studies show that positive self-talk can increase performance by 11%”
It’s important to be aware of that voice in your head. Listen to what and how it is talking to you. If it is constantly negative, then you need to take action to turn it into a supportive and positive voice. Listen carefully and when you catch a negative thought turn it into a positive statement instead.
Pay attention to what the negative voice is saying. Write it down and then challenge it with a positive statement. Prove that inner voice wrong.
Do something positive for yourself. Make a better choice in some area – food, TV viewing, scrolling social media, etc. You will feel more confident and gain back control.
Confront Your Negative Emotions
For the next few days notice times in your day when negative feelings like guilt or fear pop into your head.
Write down the triggering events and how you felt at the time. What negative emotions do you feel most often? What are the common triggers?
Stay in the Present! Negative emotions come from dwelling on the past or thinking ahead to the future.
Permission To Change
Now it is time to give yourself permission to live your life without feeling these negative emotions. Pick one of your significant triggers and write yourself a permission slip. For example, if you feel guilty about focusing on yourself instead of spending all your time with your family, your permission slip might read: “I have permission to focus on building my self-confidence”. Taking care of your own needs isn't some frivolous act of selfishness. It is vitally important to your well-being. If you aren't taking care of yourself, you are risking health issues – both physical and mental.
Place your permission slip where you will see it regularly. When you start to notice the negative feelings creeping in, refer back to it. Talk to yourself as though you were your best friend.
Regular meditation can help you develop greater control over your thoughts and emotions. You will learn how to listen carefully and to quieten your inner voice. This will help you create a sense of calm and peace, lessening stress and anxiety. As you gain greater control over your mind you will be able to silence the negative voice when it starts to speak.
Remember why you are working on this personal goal of self-confidence. When you permit yourself to have these needs, the negative feelings start to subside as you gain confidence that you are worthy of the investment. Your life will follow your thoughts.
By writing down the negative thoughts and emotions, you can then let them go, so they are no longer a part of you. Some people use a write-and-burn or -trash technique. This is a process in which you write down all the negative thoughts and emotions, or what you really want to say to someone, and then you either throw the paper away or burn it. This can be a very freeing process. It may sound ludicrous, but once you try it, you may that it's extremely effective.
Make sure to also spend some quiet time thinking about your goals or writing in a journal where you can assess your strengths, weaknesses and personality. What are your character traits? What quirks and talents do you have? If someone was trying to get to know you what questions might they ask? Review this on a regular basis.
Surround Yourself With Positive People
When you spend a lot of time with someone, their outlook can have a strong influence on your own. Both positive and negative attitudes are contagious. For this reason, it is important that you surround yourself with positive people who will encourage you to do your best and help you attain whatever goals you have. Obviously there are going to be negative people that you can't completely cut out of your life, especially if they are family, but try to limit the amount of contact with them as much as possible, while spending even more time with positive people who support you in success.
Start Making Changes
Instead of contemplating what could be possible effects of a certain situation in your life, start thinking about the best ways to prevent the impact of such situation. Change is not always going to be easy, in fact it is often much harder to change than to keep things the same. However, the effort is well worth it, to be able to have a more positive and successful life. Even small changes, done consistently can lead to big results.
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