Lacking Confidence?

Self-Help Tips for Dealing with a Lack of Confidence

Did you know that many people say that they have social anxieties? It’s right up there with public speaking as one of the biggest fears.

Social fears are one of the most common issues that a lot of people face or claim to face. It may be worse for some than for others, but social fear is a pretty universal issue.

Many people suffer from a lack of confidence. This is nothing to be ashamed of, though. Unfortunately, it’s been a part of our society for a while now, making it a common problem.

There are some ways in which you can learn to face social fears without having to drop out of society. Most of these tips are easy to accomplish.

If you have issues that exceed these tips, you may want to consider getting some professional help. You may have social anxiety and need mediation or stronger help to get yourself on the right path.

* Start Small – If you are ready to make a huge change in your life and face your social fears, don’t choose to start with speaking in front of 1500 people. Instead, start small with a small group like a “meet-up” group, or a reading group. Get a little bit out of your comfort zone, and then build up to more.

* Plan Ahead – Most people are nervous in social situations but if you plan ahead, you’ll be more relaxed. Practice introducing yourself, and if you have a good friend ask them to practice your handshake too.

Being more comfortable around people starts one step at a time, and practice will help it feel more familiar.

Ways people have been able to deal with their lack of confidence.

1. Live in the moment.

When you live in the moment you can focus on the now rather than focus on the past where you experienced your hurt and encountered your fears. You can then be unconcerned and hopeful about your future without the pressure of your past looming up behind you and making your confidence plummet once again. This mindfulness tool takes time to master as it can be hard to ignore the past making its way back into your mind.

2. Develop awareness.

When you’re aware, you can notice how you are acting during certain situations. That way, you’ll create space between your emotions and actions, helping you to respond to someone or something in a healthier way.

3. Write in a journal.

Many of our thoughts and feelings are stuck inside the subconscious part of our mind. By writing, we are able to release those thoughts. Once you’re done writing, look over what you wrote and try figuring out why you felt a specific way.

We can also separate those negative thoughts we tend to have about ourselves from the truth behind who you actually are; a unique person whom can do whatever they set their mind to.

4. Don’t be judgmental.

When we approach our lives without judgment, we are able to accept ourselves, our experiences, failures, and successes. On top of that, we are more open to accepting others just as they are, whether they are good or bad.

Some measure of social fears come from our own poor judgments of not just ourselves but others. We think that if we are so judgmental then other people are too. So, to avoid that judgment we just avoid the situation entirely. If you learn to stop being so judgmental you’ll be able to be less afraid. Learn to accept other people’s differences and personalities as just being human. Being human is perfectly acceptable.

5. Stay connected to who you are.

By doing this you are able to establish a connection with yourself and reduce possible people-pleasing habits. Don’t always think of other needs over your own. You are just as important as everyone else is; don’t forget that!

Many social fears come from wrong-headed beliefs that something is wrong with you. You don’t think enough of yourself, and you think you’re weird or somehow “wrong.” But, nothing could be further from the truth. Most of us have something different about us; if we were all the same it would be quite boring. Embrace your differences and accept yourself for who you are.

6. Practice mindful meditation.

Meditation allows you to let go off the negative thoughts that invade your mind on a daily basis. Don’t accept those damaging thoughts, feelings, emotions, and beliefs as part of who you are.

Take time out of each day to take a couple deep breaths and slowly feel the negativity leave your body and mind.  When you feel the anxiety coming on, stop, and take a deep breath. Breathe in slowly through your nose, filling up your lungs completely, and then breathe out slowly through your mouth. One or two slow breaths can help you overcome your initial fears fast.

7. Let it all go.

Often the things you have such low confidence about no one else notices. When you accomplish letting all of the negative thoughts leave your mind, you create a certain trust within yourself and choose what’s best for you.

Just because you’re afraid of something doesn’t mean it’s real. You may have all sorts of ideas in your head about how your voice sounds, how you look, and your perceived awkwardness. But, the truth is, most people are so tied up in their own fears that they don’t even notice that you’re nervous. Fearing something doesn’t mean it will actually happen.

8. Show yourself some love.

Everyone deserves compassion, whether it be from yourself or someone else. When you tell yourself how much you love you, you’ll gain a sense of strength, safety, and acceptance.

Everyone has things they aren’t confident about, whether it be about themselves or a situation they aren’t comfortable in. Each one of us is unique in our own way, but sometimes we forget that. So before getting too down on yourself, remember who you are and remember that you are loved and supported by the people you carry close to your heart.

9.  Take the Leap

Most of the time, fear is worse than the actual situation. Even if you’re doing something scary like getting a shot, or an operation or bungee jumping – the worry leading up to the event is much worse than the actuality of what you are doing. If you take the leap and jump in with both feet, you’ll find that your fear level drops substantially.

Fran

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