Key Habits of Confident People

The Five Key Habits of Highly Confident People

Confidence is a common characteristic of successful people. It’s about believing in yourself and ensuring you have what it takes no matter the status quo. It’s about persistence, assertiveness, and action-taking. Here are five key habits of highly confident people.  try implementing them to help you boost your confidence and success.

They Avoid All Excuses

Highly confident people don’t need excuses. They recognize and understand it takes accountability and ownership to be successful. They acknowledge their faults, learn from them, and then take action.

Without persistent and consistent action, you won’t be successful. Making excuses clouds your judgment and leads to poor decisions and actions that only stall your success. Don’t even allow them to be a thought for one moment.

They Take on Challenges and Seek Change

The only certainty to life is change. Change occurs no matter how hard you try to prevent it. Highly confident people recognize the immense value they gain from change and never avoid it. Even if it’s uncomfortable for a moment, there are things to learn.

You either discover something you want to continue or learn you never want to do it again. Both are valuable lessons in their own ways. Change not only creates growth but helps in other ways too. Growth helps to improve skills and weaknesses, as well as gain new knowledge and perspectives. In addition, it enables you to be more innovative and creative. These help to inspire a more happy and successful life.

They Believe in Their Abilities

They know they are not perfect, but they still have what it takes to get where they want. They understand that inaction will always leave them behind, so they might as well move forward with all they have.

Even if not perfect now, time and practice will make them better. The higher your confidence level, the more you can use your time wisely to create the right goals and action steps toward the success you desire.

They Are Never Afraid to Fail

Failure, with very few radical exceptions, is not the end of the world. Most prosperous people have failed at least once, and they’ll be the first to tell you that without that failure, they would never be where they are today.

Confident people understand that failure doesn’t mean they are horrible. It means they are human and have a lesson to learn and that failure only helps with increasing and growing their skills to be a better person in all areas of life.

They Don’t Care What Others Think

Comparing yourself to others and/or living your life for others want is a waste of time and effort. The truth is, it’s none of your business what people think of you unless they share it, and even if they do, it doesn’t make it a fact.

If you constantly seek validation, you will only keep yourself from making the right moves. The only person you need to focus on is yourself. Highly confident people are never shy of this fact.

As you can see, confidence can improve many areas of your life. Adopt these five habits, and over time you will see the improvement.

Fran

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Challenges

One of the definitions of a challenge is:  “a call to take part in a contest or competition, especially a duel”.  Duels are not as common these days but there are many opportunities to take part in challenges, virtually or live.

Some of the challenges for 2021 include:

  • Air Balloon Challenge.
  • Around the World Challenge.
  • Bean Bag Throw Challenge.
  • Bunny Jump Challenge.
  • Burpees Challenge.
  • Catch and Clap Challenge.
  • Climb the Mountain Challenge.

You might challenge yourself with some activities such as:

  • Going for a walk, bike, or run (join our indoor walking program)- setting a certain distance or time.
  • Doing household chores – how much can you get done in 15 minutes.
  • Taking the stairs instead of the elevator – how many stairs can you do.
  • Playing at the park – add in a little exercise.
  • Raking leaves or shovelling snow.

Do you remember a time in your life when you were at your “best” – when physical limitations were more about “guts” than they were about strength, flexibility or stamina. Did you feel you could take on any challenge offered up by your friends? Maybe stay up all night just for the fun of it. You probably tried new things because they looked fun and we laughed at our pals when they failed with heroic attempts. But we didn’t let bruises, scrapes or even a broken bones deter us from taking on the next challenge.  (more info: )

Putting your body and mind through physically challenging – or even demanding – activities literally trains your mind to be open to new ideas, new discoveries and new opportunities.

Regularly challenging yourself physically trains and builds your self esteem and confidence.

When you accomplish something your self image soars.  Think back to some of the challenges you have overcome in your life.  Perhaps it was losing a loved one, a marriage breakup, the birth of a child, a marriage, a trip on your own.

Perhaps you participated in some physical challenges designed to build your team or yourself as you crawled through the mud, around barriers and over walls to the finish line.  Whatever it was, think back to how you felt when you reached that finish line, when you overcame the challenge that was thrown at you.

I will be participating in a couple of challenges in the near future  – one is an email challenge and the other is becoming more visible by doing some Facebook lives.  Both of these make me a bit fearful, but I know I will become better by doing them.

Now I challenge you to try something new today.   Let me know what it is you decide to do.

Fran

P.S. Keep an eye out for my 30 Day Challenge on Overcoming Challenges to start Nov 1st and check out my Facebook page https://www.facebook.com/franwatson.ca

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Believe in Yourself

Do you believe in yourself?

If you don’t, who will?

One of the biggest stumbling blocks on the path to success for many is a lack of confidence.  Some may say that procrastination is their problem, but the underlying cause is often a lack of belief in our ability to succeed.

The fear of failure often holds us back and keeps us from achieving our dreams.  Do you find yourself making excuses to yourself and others about why you can’t start your projects or achieve your goals?  These excuses lead to procrastination and giving up on your goals.

Have you ever felt that it is safer not to attempt something rather than attempt it and fail?  You are not alone, but this is one of the major differences between those who get ahead and those who fall behind.

One of the best ways to overcome the fear of failure is by reading about others who have already learned that any failure is a step closer to success.  Michael Jordan, a basketball legend, once said:

I’ve missed more than 9000 shots in my career.  I’ve lost almost 300 games.  26 times I’ve been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed.  I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life.  And that is why I succeed.

Would you consider Michael Jordan a failure?  His failures paved the way to his success.  Check out my post on famous failures to read about Walt Disney and many others who failed time after time, but kept on pursuing their dream.

Many of our beliefs are rooted in our childhood.  Maybe we weren’t good at something, or as good as a sibling in something and we grew up with the belief that “I’m not good enough”, or “I can’t do that” even thought we don’t even try.

Do you think there is no hope for you?   That you will never achieve your dreams and goals?  I have good news for you.  It is possible to change your self-belief and take positive action to change your habits and become a success.  I’ve got good news for you – many people have done it and you can too.

Increasing your self-confidence is something you can do by yourself in small steps.  Start by choosing something new that you have seen others do with success.  Commit to being brave for 30 seconds and give it a try.  No matter whether you achieve it or not, you will learn something about yourself and by repeating small winning behaviours many times, they will become a part of you.

Improve Your Self-Image

Here are some really simple things you can do.  Start with the way you sit, walk or stand.  Pull your shoulders back and stand tall.  A confident person stands straight where a person with no confidence may appear slumped over and defeated.

Make eye contact when talking to people and remember to smile.

When you speak, speak slowly and clearly.  Speaking fast is a sign of nervousness and sometimes others are not able to understand what you are saying.  It also gives the other person the impression that you are in a hurry to end the conversation with them.

Your self-esteem is based on your capacity to love and like yourself.  Self-esteem is a set of beliefs and values by which you define your self-worth.  Low self-esteem makes life much harder in both your personal and professional life. Having more self-esteem enables you to face life’s challenges with confidence.  Self-confidence is believing that you have the ability to achieve success.

Strategies to Strengthen Your Self-Confidence

  • Strive for excellence instead of perfection
  • Use positive self-talk
  • Celebrate every success
  • Give genuine compliments to others
  • Accept your imperfections
  • Avoid trying to impress others – it’s YOU that counts
  • Tackle goals one step at a time
  • Ask for help when you need it.  The ability to ask is a sign of strength
  • Relax, take a few deep breaths and refocus your mind
  • Take care with your appearance.  When you know you look great, you feel great about yourself as well.
  • Start the day right with a positive morning routine.

Positive Affirmations You Can Use

Writing down your affirmations will help to increase your awareness of which phrases are not effective and which statements are contradictory to your goals.  It will also help solidify the ones you want to stick.  Reading, speaking and writing your affirmations will improve your mind faster than if you choose only one method since the mind accepts information in all these ways.

Pay attention to how you address yourself as this can have an impact on your success.  A study revealed that individuals who used the word “you” when writing self-talk were found to do better compared to a control group who used “I”.  It was thought that using the word “you” reminded them of their childhood and receiving encouragement from their parents, teachers and friends.

  1. You are worthy of happiness and success
  2. You choose to give priority to how you want to live.
  3. You are ready for success
  4. You are making your life better every day
  5. You have what it takes to make your dreams a reality
  6. You easily pursue your goals with confidence
  7. You are unique and special just as you are
  8. Your circumstances are not who you are
  9. You are not afraid of failure, disappointment or being hurt
  10. You are strong and courageous

For more information and to sign up for a free report on confidence, fill in the form below:

Fran

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Self-Confidence

Self-Confidence

Have you ever wondered why some people seem to succeed at most things while others seem to get nowhere? I’ll tell you. It’s not because of luck, as many people think. Success happens because those people have the confidence to make it happen.

Low self confidence is defeating.

It can define us and cause us to beat ourselves up emotionally.

It can limit our abilities and keep us from growing and moving forward from our mistakes, failures and defeats.

It can confine us to our comfort zone where we feel safe from potential humiliation and further mistakes, but when are stuck in that comfort zone, we will only be left hurt and disappointed.

Though we dream about being perfect and we see other people who appear self-confident and all together, we have to realize that no one is perfect.  We are all human and we all make mistakes.

Even the most confident people have their insecurities.  They didn’t become confident by sheer luck, they worked at it, failed and picked themselves up again … and you can too.

Improving self-confidence is just a matter of learning from our mistakes.  Everyone has the ability to improve his or her own self-confidence regardless of our past.

Whether you lost your confidence when you lost your job or you blew a presentation or an interview, all is not lost

There are many ways to improve your self-confidence.  The key is to have a positive attitude and remember that you can do anything you set your mind to.

The good news is everyone can have confidence. It’s not something you’re born with, it’s something developed through practice… and you can have it too!

I have a free report for you!

Here’s what you’ll learn from this free report:

  •  How confidence affects all aspects of your life.
  •  Steps to build more confidence.
  • Myths about Confidence
  • Conquer your fear of failure
  • Create a plan for Success
  • Using Positive Affirmations

Sign up now to receive your guide on how to boost your confidence.

 

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Lessons from the Elderly

11 Lessons the Elderly Can Teach Us

by Tim Pond

Elderly folks have a perspective that is hard to duplicate regardless of how much thought you put into it. They’ve lived a long time and have learned a thing or two that only experience can teach.

While jumping ahead to the end of a good book might spoil the story, getting a few tips from someone that has lived a full life is just smart thinking. It’s always good to get advice from an expert. The elderly are the experts on living life.

Tim’s list includes:  Prioritize, and Work doesn’t matter as much as you think it does right now. Points to ponder for sure.  Read Tim’s article here.

To living a long life

Fran

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Looking Back

Do you want your life to be a rough draft or a masterpiece?

What an excellent question posed by Matt Hogan who says:

You are writing the story of your life every moment of every day.

Every  that leads to  becomes a  that ends up within one of the , within one of the , within one of the  of your book.

Matt goes on to say:

It’s the  that separates the  from the ; that turns ‘shitty’ into ‘elegant’; that turns messy pieces into masterpieces.

And he’s not just talking about actual books, he is talking about how we live and examine our lives.  So, what does the “life editing” process look like?  Read more here and find out.

You can also find Matt on Instagram

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Tracking Time

Time Management – what exactly is it?

I have been having conversations with people lately about Goal Setting and Time Management.  Everyone says they don’t have enough time to set goals or to accomplish tasks, but the truth is unless you set the goals you will NEVER find the time to complete them.  You see you can’t really manage time, you can only manage you.

Do you really know what you spend your time on each day?  Have you ever taken the time to really look at what you do?  How long does it take you to make and eat your breakfast each day?  Do you read the paper while you eat?  How long does that take?  Do you sit and wait for the coffee to perc or do you do other things while it is percolating?  What about lunch?  Do you eat on the go?  Eat at your desk?  Go out for lunch?  Again, how long does it take?

Have you ever sat down to watch ONE program and found yourself still sitting on the couch 3 hours later?  That’s because you didn’t have a goal, something else you wanted to accomplish that night.  If you had, you would have made a decision about whether or not you would even watch the one program, or would you work on a task towards completing your goal.

Do you have a goal you want to achieve?  Other than, “I want to be rich and retire.”  Do you know the exact amount you want to make, the exact amount you would need to retire comfortably, taking into account inflation and what activities you want to do when you retire.  Have you written your goal down?  Have you begun your yearly, monthly, weekly, daily plan on how you are going to accomplish it?  Studies have shown that if you WRITE down your goal and put it somewhere where you will see it every day, you have a better chance of achieving it.  If you write it down and set out a plan on how you will achieve it, you are well on your way.

Think about it….A multi-millionaire has the same number of hours in the day as you do, they just do different things with it.  You will probably not find them sitting on the couch in their living room watching hour after hour of TV.  You will probably find them getting together with people who can help them with their goals.

Kelly McCausey says “Time Management is one of the most popular topics among business communities, but it isn’t really about time management. It’s not about squeezing more work into your hours, thankfully it’s about so much more than that.!”

My friend Kelly McCausey invites you to learn about the Zones of Incompetence, Competence, Excellence & Genius – and actually TRACK where you’re spending your time, talent and creativity for five business days.

With fresh awareness and evidence to review, it’s her hope that you’ll come out of this challenge with sparkling motivation and a desire to grow like never before!

When you say yes to this challenge, you’ll be able to see for sure whether you’re spending time on what matters most and see just how much time you give to low money tasks and time wasters.

Even small shifts in how you spend your time can have a big impact.

For instance, Kelly introduced me to the Pit Stop Rule. Let me explain.  In The Big Leap, a marvelous book by Gay Hendricks, he teaches us about the Zones of Incompetence, Competence, Excellence & Genius. At any one time you can only be in ONE and this will change how you look at time forever.

It’s obvious, even from looking at those zone names, you want to operate in higher zones and stay out of lower zones, right? But hey – it’s not possible for most people to completely vacate the lower zones.

Kelly said, “If I’m going to spend time in the Zone of Incompetence, doing something I’m not good at – it’s only going to be a Pit Stop. This means I’m going to spend as little time there as possible and have a plan for getting out.”

When you say yes to this challenge, you’ll be able to see for sure whether you’re spending time on what matters most and see just how much time you give to low money tasks and time wasters.

Even small shifts in how you spend your time can have a big impact.

Just like me, YOU get to decide where you spend your time, talent and creativity. Kelly’s I Dare You To Track Challenge is all about that. I hope you’ll join me!

Fran Watson

 

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Facing Fears

In the spring of my 13th year some boys found baby garter snakes and were chasing the girls with them.  I said I wasn’t afraid (although I was actually terrified) and they put the snakes on my head as I stood still.  It worked.  They never bothered me again (the boys not the snakes, I’m still afraid of snakes).

Over the years I have had to face many other fears.

  • Starting University at 38.
  • Raising 4 kids on my own after my ex left.
  • Starting a new relationship.
  • Ending the relationship.
  • Working full-time while studying and keeping my kids in a normal lifestyle with hockey, track and field, figure skating, drama, bands.
  • Years later starting another relationship.
  • Quitting my day job to work from home on my own.

Every day there are challenges that come up and every day I have a choice to face them or hide from them.  Things like frozen pipes, toilet backing up into my kitchen sink.  (Not everyday things, but it happened more than once until I wrapped my pipes with heated wire.)

I confess there are some days I just want to curl up somewhere with a good book and let the world go by, but life carries on regardless, so I get up and do what needs to be done.

In the past few weeks I have read a couple of books that have shown me I am not alone in facing fears and overcoming them.

One of these books was Elizabeth Gilbert’s Big Magic.  Another was Brene Brown’s The Gifts of Imperfection.  Both of these books spoke to me and helped me to recognize fears that I still held inside.  Brene’s tips to cultivate self-compassion were insightful.  Elizabeth’s words helped me to move forward with my book of poetry.  To get it ready to share with the world, regardless of the outcome!

What fears are you facing?  What help do you need to face them?

Fran Watson

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Email Embarassment

Raise your hand if you’ve ever sent out a marketing email , only to realize after clicking ‘send’ that your email’s main call-to-action contained a broken link. What a waste, right? And talk about embarrassment … Now how many of you did I actually get to raise your hand? 😉

Yes, silly mistakes happen — more easily than you might think. After all, we may be savvy marketers, but we’re still only human. So how can you prevent those silly mistakes from bleeding into your email campaigns? Enter the mighty test send! Most email service providers, including HubSpot’s own email tool , allow you to send a test email for review before you send the real email out to your list of email contacts. So if you’re not leveraging these test sends to proof your email messages before they go out, you’re just asking for the scenario we highlighted above.

I must admit that I have made some of the mistakes listed in this particular blog post and have suffered email embarrassment.

Here are some of the mistakes – read the article to find the rest and how to fix them.

1) Broken Links

2) Forgotten Links

3) Broken Social Media Sharing Buttons

4) Spelling/Grammatical Errors

5) Distorted Images

6) Wonky Formatting

7) Color Issues ….

May you no longer suffer from email embarrassment.

Fran Watson

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Senior Care

Senior Care by Lorraine Durnford-Hill

It is 7 pm and an older woman has just gotten back from dinner and is sitting in her chair drifting in and out of sleep.  There is a knock on the door and a young girl walks in “Mildred, Hello Mildred”.   She walks up to the chair “Mildred?”.  The woman looks up and smiles.  “How are you tonight?” – Fine.  Do you need anything? – No.   The young girl goes over to the book signs that she has offered emotional support, the client didn’t need anything and leaves.

The woman in the chair is my 97 year old Mother.  Family and friends call her Kay, but the PSW doesn’t know that because there is a new worker every day.  Let me share my side of the story.

When she was 93 my mother decided she wanted to move to a retirement home where all her social activities would be all under the same roof.  This was a great option for a few years until she started to need more support.  For 90 + years my mother had been independent and now we had to arrange for some extra support.  We called CCAC to arrange for a Personal Support Worker (PSW) to come in 2 times a day to help with dressing and undressing, personal hygiene and preparing a bedtime snack.

The plan was that someone would come in about 9 in the morning to get her ready for the day and put in her hearing aids and someone else would come in at night to help prepare her for bed.  However what happened is that they would show up any time between 7 – 10 am   or 6-10 pm.  This left mom frustrated because she never knew when to expect them and didn’t want to get ready for bed at 6 or 7pm, she still had Bingo or a card game to play until 8.  Often mom would tell them to she didn’t want help because she wasn’t ready to get up or go to bed then struggle for 45 minutes to do the process on her own.    Many phone calls back and forth and we would get it resolved then a new person would come in and the problem was back.  As family members, my sister and I became very frustrated with the services and limitations.  We realized how important it was for the family to be aware and advocate for appropriate support.

Did you know that there are 2.3 million people over the age of 65 in Ontario and that is only going to double in the next 20 years?

I decided to look into the other side of the story from the PSWs’ point of view.  My internet search found a report from CBC stating that some PSWs can be requested to see up to 4 clients in one shift.  That is 15 minutes per client.  This leads to an assembly line service that doesn’t provide true support for our seniors who need and deserve quality care.

Fifteen minutes does not allow time for much.   It often would take my mother 5 minutes to walk to bathroom, then do what she needs to do and walk back.  This would burn up the allotted time leaving no time for emotional support, preparing a snack or preparing for the next part of the day.

I also learned that there is no consistent training for the PSWs, although that is improving.  PSWs work shiftwork, being offered mostly part time hours.  Therefore the client may often get a different PSW each day.  PSWs are also subject to verbal and physical abuse from people who have diminishing cognitive functioning, in extreme pain and frustrated family/caregivers.  We interacted with some fabulous PSW and some who were just doing a job and did not care about the residents.  Some times we would get a phone call to let us know that there would be no PSW some evenings and sometimes they just didn’t show up without even a phone call.

A quote by Cindy Macdonald speaks to aging.  “We are all going to age, no one can escape, it is how gracefully we handle the process and how lucky we are as the process handles us.” 

It is important to remember people may not remember your name but they will remember how you make them feel.  One PSW shared that mom was the only client that purred when they washed her back or brushed her hair.  It is the simple things that can make someone’s day.  That worker made my mom’s day.

Seniors need more help, but before jumping to conclusions about PSWs, we need to look at the other side of the story and put more pressure on the government to put better systems in place.  After all, we are all going to be old some day!!

Lorraine Durnford-Hill

P.S.  If you know a PSW thank them for the dedication and support, especially for the past year and a half with the Pandemic

Lorraine is an independent consultant who works with children who have different needs.  She also works with adults who have issues with anger management.  She has taught at Georgian College and recently worked with a group of teachers for a Professional Development day on communication.  Her website is MyChildIsSpecial

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Add your thoughts to this Senior Care issue by contacting CARP

Fran Watson

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