Not Feeling Confident?

Practice Being Bold & Assertive

If you struggle with confidence, being bold and assertive may seem as far away from your personality than the East is from the West. But, would you like to be bolder and more assertive? There are clear benefits to being able to articulate what you prefer and stand up for yourself when you feel overwhelmed. Before we look at how to practice being bold and assertive, let’s look at what being bold and assertive looks like as a whole.

Being bold and assertive looks like:

Knowing who you are- People can recognize the confidence in a bold and assertive person. That comes from knowing who you are. Being confident in your own skin shines outward as bold and assertive confidence. Knowing your worth, value, preferences, and dislikes makes it clear to others how to be in relationship with you.

Voicing your opinion-

Bold and assertive people are great at sharing their opinions. The key being: sharing healthy viewpoints in productive ways. Confident people know what and when to share their viewpoints and use those viewpoints to enhance a situation rather than monopolize it.

Setting clear boundaries-

Sometimes setting clear, healthy boundaries is bold and assertive. Being able to stand your ground without backing down or compromising requires a willingness to be firm and clear regardless of any backlash.

Using leadership skills-

Confident, bold, and assertive people are seen as leaders. You don’t have to be the loudest voice in the room to gain leadership credibility. Being wise, conscientious, and firm radiates competency. Even quiet people can be effective leaders if they are confident in their skills.

Standing up for something-

Bold and assertive people tend to stand up for things that they believe in. Having a platform to make an impact or create change requires a level of confidence and leadership that being bold and assertive creates.

Now that we know what being bold and assertive looks like, let’s take a look at how to practice being bold and assertive:

Volunteer to lead-

Jump in and take the lead with a group or effort. Volunteer to be the leader and start to be bold and assertive with your opinions and direction.

Follow your instinct-

Your gut knows what is right or wrong. Practice listening to and following your gut when you have direction about how to handle a situation. Speak your mind and contribute to the conversation.

Join Toastmasters

If speaking up is a challenge, consider joining a group like Toastmasters and practice public speaking.

Get a role model-

Everyone has someone that they admire. Find a role model to emulate and connect with who can teach you and help you how to practice being bold and assertive.

People who are confident in their skin aren’t afraid to be bold and assertive. Work on doing the same. Practice makes perfect. Fake it till you make it.

To developing your self-confidence!

Fran Watson

Fran Watson

P.S.  If you would like more tips on building your confidence, or to set up a personal chat with me, send me a message or comment below.

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Keeping A Gratitude Journal

5 Benefits of Keeping a Gratitude Journal

Starting and maintaining a gratitude journal can be a difficult task to undertake at first because it is just something else that you have to remember to do every day. However, after a while, the effort you put into showing your gratitude every day will be well worth it in the long run. Continue to push yourself to do it every night until it becomes a habit.

The best time to start a gratitude journal is now. Here are three incredible benefits that you can gain when you start to keep a gratitude journal.

It Increases Positivity.

When you write things down that you are grateful for in your life, you will naturally become more optimistic and confident. Focusing on the good in your life provides less power to the negative emotions and greater power to the positive ones. Although you may have positive thoughts come to mind throughout the day, taking the time to write them down makes them more concrete.

It Improves Sleep

Spending just a few minutes right before you go to bed to write down the things that you are grateful for will help to quiet your mind and ease any anxieties that you might have about the day. A calm and grateful mind will allow you to fall asleep quicker. Gratitude has been shown to induce the relaxation response and has been proven to be a potent sleep aid.

Improves Self-Esteem

When you focus on the negative things in your life, it can become extremely easy to feel down. We tend to be more demanding on ourselves than others, but keeping a gratitude journal can help you stay focused on your achievements.

Showing gratitude can help to reduce the natural tendencies we have to compare ourselves to those around us, which can be detrimental to our self-esteem. When you show gratitude for what you have, you will harbor less resentment and jealousy toward others and have a greater feeling of self-worth.

Reduces Stress

Researchers have found that when you focus on feelings of satisfaction and contentment, it will naturally counteract stress. While you will still have to deal with challenges in your life, having an attitude of gratitude will help you better deal with those challenges.

Better Health

Grateful people tend to live healthier lives and live longer than their ungrateful counterparts. This is because they have the motivation to take better care of themselves. Grateful people experience fewer aches and pains and are more inclined to eat healthily and exercise. These are only a few of the many benefits of keeping a gratitude journal. If you aren’t already keeping one, starting today will help you live a happier and healthier life.

Fran Watson

P.S.  Here is a Gratitude Journal to get you started.  Let me know what you think of it.

P.P.S.  Check out my 30 Days Gratitude Challenge

 

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Why Gratitude Is Important

Why Gratitude Is So Important

Claire was on her way home from running errands all day with her children. She was hot and tired. The day had been filled with chaos and all she wanted was to grab some food from a fast food diner.

Then traffic unexpectedly stopped. A siren sounded in the distance and Claire looked ahead to see there had been a four car accident. Normally, she welcomed small delays as they gave her extra time to talk with her kids. But today, she didn’t feel like her usual peppy self.

After a few minutes passed, her son asked, “Mama, do you want to play the gratitude game? I bet we can count lots of stuff today!”

Her daughter said, “I’ll go first—I’m thankful we’re not one of the cars that were in the accident.”

Claire smiled at her daughter’s wisdom then helped her children continue listing things they could be grateful for. By the time the wreck was cleared, Claire’s sour mood had lifted and she felt peaceful.

Like Claire, there might be days you find it difficult to express gratitude. But gratitude has many benefits that you can tap into…

Gratitude and Attitude Are Choices

Gratitude Soothes You

It’s hard to be both stressed and grateful at the same time. While you can’t always choose your circumstances, you can lean into positive vibes by practicing gratitude no matter where you are or what’s going on.

Not only does gratitude soothe you mentally, it can also be good for you physically. Studies have shown that choosing to be grateful can alter your perception of pain, including chronic pain.

Gratitude Focuses You

It can be tempting to view all the things you don’t have in your life. Maybe you don’t have a car as nice as your friend’s. Perhaps your job isn’t as glamourous as someone else’s. Maybe you don’t have a lot of money or a big, beautiful house.

But when you embrace gratitude, it helps you focus on the important things in life, like your family, friends, and community. Your relationships matter far more than any material thing you might want.

 

Gratitude Energizes You

Without gratitude, it’s easy to slip into the victim mindset. You tell yourself things like, “I’m just destined to be a loser. I can’t have an amazing life. I’ve never had it easy, so why should I expect anything to change?”

But gratitude flips the script entirely. Instead of being the victim in the story, you become the hero. The one who overcomes the odds to build a beautiful life filled with blessings and abundance.

Gratitude offers many gifts if you’re willing to change your perspective and look at them. You never know what you might discover when you start viewing life through the lens of gratitude!

Check out my 30 Days of Gratitude Challenge on my simplestepstospeakingsuccess.com blog

I am grateful for you!  Thank you for reading this blog.

Fran Watson

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Being Grateful

What Does Being Grateful Mean to You?

When was the last time you sat down and thought about what you have to be grateful for? Surprisingly it may have been awhile, but you are not alone. Gratefulness is often something that we take for granted, which is exactly why not many people pay attention to it.

Make the right choices

Let’s change that today by sitting down for a few minutes and thinking about what we have to be grateful for. Here’s some ideas to get your juices flowing.

Health – are you in good shape, or are you dealing with a health issue?
Money – how are you finance wise, in good shape, or is this an area that requires improvement?
Family – do you still have all your loved ones around you?
Job – do you have a stable income?

Health

These four items are often taken for granted. Your health is a great example of this. You may not think about your health until you start to have issues. How many people around you are dealing with pain issues, mobility problems, are overweight or are suffering with a major health complications. Take time to be  grateful for the current state of your health, and take actions to maintain it.

Family

Having your family around you can be a great source of comfort and enjoyment. Many families lose children at a young age, or a child loses a parent. If your family is intact this is another reason for being grateful.

You may be annoyed that your husband rarely helps with the dishes at night, but you love the way he always puts the kids to bed.  Which one do you focus on the most?  Instead of badgering him about helping with the dishes, express how grateful you are that he takes over the bedtime routines.

Work & Money

When it comes to your job, you may not particularly like what you do, but your job provides you with an income which allows you to give your family food, shelter and warmth. In some countries these things are a daily struggle.

If you are managing to pay your bills and mortgage on time, that’s great. As is feeding your children and putting clothes on their backs. Again, these are things that are almost impossible for some people to manage.

Maybe you need a new car, but until then be thankful that you still have one that is running.  If you wish you had more money in the bank, be grateful for what you have managed to save so far.

In other words, stop focusing on those things you don’t have and concentrate on what you do have.  If you have a loving partner or kids that are doing fantastic in school, show them how grateful and thankful you are.  Is your family healthy and happy?  Wonderful, so many families have a member that is sick and this can pull down every member.

Improving Relationships

Any relationship can be improved by displaying your gratitude for each other.  It is important to focus on what you already have.  When you do you will notice that it is easy to find additional things that you are grateful for.  Plus, what person doesn’t like to be appreciated?  Think of a time someone thanked you for something unexpected.

You don’t have to be totally satisfied with your life. But you should take the time to think about those things you do have, compared to those less fortunate. Then be grateful for what you have. Stop dwelling on the “what if’s” and the “don’t have’s” in life. Focus on your family and your health and the word grateful will take on a whole new aspect for you.

If you are having trouble displaying your gratitude then simply write down all the things you are grateful for.  Think about what others do for you, what qualities someone you appreciate has and more.  Once you have identified these you will find it easier to find more things to be appreciative of.

I have created a 30 Day Gratitude Challenge, both on my blog and an email (which has some extra surprises).  I invite you to check both out.  The blog is www.simplestepstospeakingsuccess.com Day One

Hope to see you soon

Fran Watson

Bulding Confidence www.franwatson.ca

Be Grateful

 

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Surprises

Would you like to see something other than bills and junk mail in your mailbox?  I know I would.  That’s why I signed up for Kelly McCausey’s new venture – Mindset Notes. 

Kelly says:  “My newest project is a monthly mailer for women who want to lean into the most positive success mindset possible.”

This is just one of her many projects.  You can find out more about Kelly by going to her Love People Make Money site. 

Kelly helps entrepreneurs at all stages of their adventure – from beginner to more advanced.  She helps people (especially women) to create products, sell products, connect with other like-minded people via webinars, Facebook lives and most recently her Summit where she had members of her group sharing their experiences.  You can read her blog here for more information.

So, if you want something better in your mailbox than the latest flyers wanting you to buy their products, or the bills after you do, click here.

Fran

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Snail Mail Is Not Dead

Kelly McCausey has a very special offer.  Click on the picture to find out what it is.

Snail Mail Is Not Dead

Surprise

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Entrepreneurship

Entrepreneurs Are Regular People

Believe it or not, Entrepreneurs are regular people.  They have hopes and dreams. They make mistakes.  They are not perfect.  Many people think they would like to become entrepreneurs, and indeed the door is always open, but you need to be prepared to work, and work hard.  As a Career Counsellor I have talked with many people who think they would like to work for themselves.  For some reason people seem to think that it is all roses – you have free time, you can do what you want when you want, etc.

I hate to break it to you, but working for yourself is not always easy.  Yes, you do have flexible hours once you are all set up, but it takes time and effort to get there.  I have been working from home for the past 8 years, and I do have some flexibility, but I also have to work when my clients are available.

Find A Group

As part of my personal growth, I recently joined LaptopLifestyleYOU where I met an amazing group of Entrepreneurs who are making a huge difference in my world.  In addition to working from home as a Career Counsellor, I have begun to venture further into the laptop lifestyle world by participating in challenges (see my current 30 day Gratitude Challenge here.)

I am still working on all the pieces of the challenge – blog posts, Facebook posts, emails, products, etc. and I have developed a tremendous amount of respect for those who have been involved in the creation of products and content over the years.  I love the journals and the planners and am learning how to create some of my own.

Connie Ragen Green is part of my current group. I have learned a lot from her in our weekly LaptopLifestyleYOU chats and have joined her email list to get more of her wisdom.  She also has a great blog where you can find out more about entrepreneurship as well as other great topics.  You could spend hours learning on her site.

I have been having updates done on my sites, so I haven’t been as active on my blogs lately, but that will change.  I will be committing to posting at least once a week, and hopefully more often, so I hope I will be seeing you more often as well.

To being your best you.

Fran Watson

Bulding Confidence www.franwatson.ca

Confidence helps you meet your Challenges head on.

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Adapting To Change

Challenges

I opened my email this morning and found one that began “100 Day Challenge”.  Now I have participated in a number of challenges over the past few years – 30 days to this or 60 days to that, so I wondered what this challenge would entail.

create powerful goalsMy screen opened up to a cute little robot and the following quote:

 “As humans, we have evolved to compete…it’s in our genes, and we love to watch a competition.”Peter Diamandis

 What followed was an excellent article by Gary Ryan Blair on the reasons we need to make changes in the ways we do things if we want to survive in our careers and our businesses.  You can read the entire article here “Compete With Robots” :

 Another quote that caught my attention is one that is often misquoted.

“It is not the most intellectual or the strongest species that survives, but the species that survives is the one that is able to adapt to or adjust best to the changing environment in which it finds itself.”Charles Darwin

Adapting to Change

I have found myself adapting and adjusting to many things in my life over the years – marriage, children, divorce, completing my degree while working full time and raising my 4 children as a single mom.  Becoming a grandmother at age 34 and a great-grandmother at 68. Now, I am looking after my mother who is in a nursing home at age 98 confined to a wheelchair.  I have had to arrange my schedule around visits.

Make the right choicesI also had many changes in my career.  After graduating from a Special Commercial course (which I took after Grade 13 and not being able to find a job), I worked as a Secretary for many years – in a college, an elementary school, an office, for my ex.  I also worked preparing tax returns, typing university papers from home, doing child care and more before I finally began working in the field of employment.  I began by doing workshops on Safety and eventually moved into working with clients on their job search – resumes, interviews, career assessments – developing and presenting workshops and working one-on-one.

Over the years I worked under different employers who took on various government contracts, which required adapting to their ideas and demands.  I even had one employer who let me go after only 2 months, stating that I “didn’t fit their needs”.  This turned out to be a blessing as their company didn’t last more than a year and I ended up with a contract job and then a full-time job where I stayed for 11 years.

Most recently I semi-retired at age 62 to begin my laptop lifestyle career, working from my kitchen table counselling clients looking to change their careers or to help them cope with things that are going on at work.

In the article Blair mentioned that many people and businesses who went under because they did not adapt to change.

“Adapting to change is difficult, but not adapting is fatal as history is littered with the corpses of very strong people and companies who were brought to their knees, and put in their grave due to their inability or unwillingness to adapt or adjust to the changing environment in which they found themselves in.”

I am sure that if you think about it, you will be able to name several yourself.  I thought about some major shopping giants like Simpsons Sears, Eaton’s, Zeller’s, etc. and how some stores that came to Canada from the States found that there was a very different environment which caused them to close those stores and lose money.  Companies that have adapted to the changing environment have continued to grow.

Becoming Aware

As Gary Ryan Blair says: “Adapt or perish, now as ever, is nature’s inexorable imperative.

Change descends upon each one of us equally; the difference is that some of us realize it faster than others and adapt accordingly.  However, it is our awareness to the slightest changes in our environment and the world around us that helps us to best manage the change process.”

He then outlines what we need to look at as he goes through the word C.H.A.N.G.E. providing advice and asking us some challenging questions.

I think that once you read his article you may be intrigued to learn more about how you can change your life and your business in order to succeed in this changing world.  After I read the article, I did a google search on Mr. Blair to find out that he is known as “The Goals Guy” and he has many more articles and a video on some of his 100 day challenges.  I am looking forward to reading more about him and his challenges as I continue to adapt to my changing life.

That link again to the article:

Fran Watson

Bulding Confidence www.franwatson.ca

Confidence helps you meet your Challenges head on.

P.S.  What changes and challenges are you facing in your life right now?  Please share below.

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Building Your Confidence Requires Action

Building your confidence requires action. What is something you want to achieve? Write it down and then make a plan to achieve it. Do you need help? Ask for help. But do it.

Take Action to Build COnfidence

Build Your Confidence by Taking Action

How Diet, Exercise, and Confidence Are Connected

Do you struggle with not feeling confident? While therapy and coaching can help, it may also be of benefit to address your diet and exercise schedules.

The Connection

When you eat well and exercise, it may help boost your self-confidence. Why? Here are some thoughts.

* Body image – While exercising won’t necessarily result in the perfect body, it does tend to give you a sense that you are being proactive about your health; you’re doing the right thing and working toward getting fit. Recognizing this – even if you can’t get rid of those love handles – can help you feel more confident in yourself.

* Mood food – The food you eat can affect your mood, sources say, which in turn affects your confidence. Low blood sugar can cause you to feel grouchy and easily annoyed, and a diet high in sugar may contribute to depression (the ultimate in low confidence!). Lean protein combined with complex carbohydrates is a winning combination.

* Endorphins – Exercise stimulates your body to produce endorphins, which are brain chemicals that help you feel good. These substances play a role in relieving depression and improving mood.

* Energy level – If you’re struggling with self-confidence, feeling sluggish doesn’t help. Exercise and a healthy diet are key elements to feeling energetic and, ultimately, confident.

* Vitamins and minerals – Your confidence is affected by how you look and feel, and getting the right vitamins and minerals is important for things like teeth, skin, and hair. When these aspects of your appearance are healthy and at their optimum, it helps you feel better about yourself.

Specifically, some vitamins and minerals are directly implicated in improving mood and, consequently, confidence. These include B-complex vitamins and Vitamin D. In fact, fat-soluble Vitamin D is sometimes used by medical professionals to treat Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD). When you are getting the right amount of key vitamins and minerals, you are much more likely to feel confident in yourself.

* Productivity – When your energy and confidence levels are up due to exercise and diet, you are much more likely to be more productive in work, school, and relationships. And this becomes a positive cycle – increased productivity boosts your confidence even more.

* Positive effects – If you begin to exercise and eat healthfully, you may find yourself looking better – you may experience weight loss, better muscle tone, and healthier skin. Looking in the mirror and liking what you see can go a long way toward boosting confidence!

To Being Confident

Fran Watson

Bulding Confidence www.franwatson.ca

Develop Your Confidence

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Work On Your Strengths

Many times we are told to work on our weaknesses, but why not try working on your strengths, building them to be even stronger. That is what athletes do and professional speakers and others who are great achievers. Look at what you do well, do more of it and you will overcome your weaknesses.

Strengths not Weakness

Build on Your Strengths

From Self-Consciousness to Self-Confidence – Tips for Parents

As a parent, it can be painful to watch your teen struggle with self-consciousness and low confidence. Is there anything you can do to help build your teen’s self-confidence? Here are some tips.

Learning to Fail

We want our children to be safe, physically and emotionally. But sources say that this can become too much of a good thing. If you feel the need to protect your child from any difficulty – not allowing him to date, for instance, to protect him from a broken heart; or not letting her try out for a sports team because you don’t think she’ll be the best – then you may end up undermining your teen’s self-confidence. Learning how to try and fail and try again is one of life’s most important lessons.

You may think that failure will destroy your teen – after all, if you allow him or her to fail, won’t that destroy his or her self-confidence? Surprisingly, failure can be an opportunity – it’s a chance to self-assess and ultimately build self-confidence.

Equip Your Teen

Letting your teen flounder on his own without providing guidance can compromise his sense of confidence. He needs some practical tools so that he feels confidently equipped to tackle problems and issues in his life. Have heart-to-heart talks about dating, schoolwork, and parental expectations, and arm your teen with practical advice on what to do in these areas of life. Sometimes, teens just need help formulating a plan of action to feel confident.

Don’t Always Blame Others

We all know that parent – the mom who yells at the coach when her child strikes out, or the dad who yells at the teacher when his child is reprimanded. But is that parent you? Think carefully – do you tend to take up your teen’s cause no matter what and assume the world is against her? Sometimes, in your eagerness to be a friend to your teen, you may forget that sometimes your teen is in the wrong and needs your correction, or at least your admission that she is on the wrong track.

Beautiful Facts

Most teens are not aware that the images they see on television and in magazines are largely staged. Celebrities who seem perfectly beautiful aren’t necessarily so – they have the advantage of being able to spend most of every day working on their appearance, and they also have the advantage of a camera lens between themselves and the rest of the world.

Introduce your teen to the deceptive nature of magazine photography and movie cameras, and point out that keeping up appearances can be so exhausting that few celebrities have normal, healthy lives and relationships.

To Building Confidence

Fran Watson

Bulding Confidence www.franwatson.ca

Develop Your Confidence

 

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